I think about the topic of motivation a lot.
It’s a question my clients ask all the time. And it’s something I struggle with too. In that way I know it’s a universal issue that we all suffer from, from time-to-time.
So how does one stay motivated to become healthy, or meet any of life’s goals for that matter?
It doesn’t take a moment online to come across countless people who will tell you the answer – You’ll hear everything from ‘planning your day before bed’ to ‘waking up at 4am to get a head start on your competition’ to ‘finding Accountability Partners’, all to keep motivation flowing.
So you follow the advice; and YOU’RE STILL UNMOTIVATED!
It’s time we sat down and had a conversation with someone who NEVER gets distracted from her goal, Mother Nature.
Chris: Hello Mother Nature. Thanks so much for coming and talking to me about motivation today.
Mother Nature: You’re welcome.
Chris: So I guess I’ll get straight to the point.
How can people stay motivated to achieve their health goals? Or any other life goal for that matter.
It seems to be a trick only a few people seem to master.
Mother Nature: I’m not sure I understand the question. I don’t think I’ve ever considered needing to be “motivated” in the past 13.8 billion years.
Chris: You haven’t? How come? It seems like you have the ultimate never ending job.
Mother Nature: Well, because I’m in no way confused about what I wish to achieve.
Chris: Are you saying we are?
Mother Nature: In a way, yes.
You mentioned a moment ago that motivation is a “trick only some people can master”. What did you mean by that?
Chris: Well some people seem to be able to set their mind on a goal and achieve it.
Whilst others, like myself, will set their mind on a goal, then promptly develop amnesia for it moments later!
A few weeks could even go by before I remember I planned to make a certain change, like improving my diet or getting more sleep.
Mother Nature: So you’re saying it’s possible for some people to reach a goal, whilst others lack that skill?
Chris: Yeah! Why is that?
Mother Nature: Values.
Chris: Values? What do you mean?
Mother Nature: When aiming for a goal, we can only fulfil on our ‘Core Values’, not our ‘Expectations’.
Chris: We can only fulfil on our ‘Core Values’, not our ‘Expectations’. Where does Motivation come into that?
Mother Nature: It doesn’t.
Chris: Okay. My head hurts now! I’m going to need you to explain.
Mother Nature: Those people you speak of that always seem to achieve their goals do not possess more motivation than you, or anyone else.
What they have is Alignment. Specifically alignment with their Core Values.
Chris: Okay. Go on.
Mother Nature: If someone truly values a certain physique, or winning a race, or starting anything difficult, they’ll happily do what it takes to get the result.
We could say it’s aligned with their Core Values.
But if YOU’RE trying to achieve the same results, but you only really care about it because you think you’re supposed to care about it, then it’s unlikely you’ll do what it takes to get the results.
We could say it’s NOT aligned with your Core Values. And because of that, it’s even hard to remember you signed up to the goal.
Chris: Wow! I never thought of it like that.
Are you saying that motivation emerges naturally when goals align with your values? But motivation will remain dormant if the goal doesn’t register with these personal values.
Mother Nature: That’s exactly right.
Chris: So, when a motivation expert tells you “what you NEED to do” to get motivated, their advice is only correct if it already aligns with your values.
Mother Nature: Yes, but it goes deeper than that too.
Chris: How so?
Mother Nature: It’s not just the advice that needs to align with your values. It’s the goal itself.
For example, year round you’re known for getting up before the sun on a Sunday morning to go for a sunrise hike, whilst everyone else would prefer to stay in bed.
That’s because both the alone time, and the exercise, together meet your Core Values.
Chris: Yeah. And none of my friends ever want to join me!
Mother Nature: Exactly. It’s YOUR core value, not theirs. It’s something entirely different that will motivate them to get out of bed before sunrise.
Chris: Sure. I know loads of people that will always book the “red-eye” flights just to get an extra few hours by the pool on holiday.
I couldn’t be less motivated to do that. I find it really stressful, especially with a young child in tow.
Mother Nature: And there you have it – You couldn’t be less “Motivated”.
All because you don’t share the same ‘Value’ of eeking every last drop of holiday you can at the cost of losing sleep.
Chris: Ah! And likewise, they don’t ‘Value’ the solitude of a sunrise hike at the loss of losing their sleep.
It’s not a matter of ‘Motivation’ at all. It’s all about Values.
Mother Nature: [Giving a knowing nod and gentle smile]
Chris: Okay. I know people are going to ask this, so I want your thoughts on one more thing.
Mother Nature: Okay.
Chris: If a person develops a wellbeing goal because of health scare, and they don’t value their new diet, for example, how do THEY stay motivated?
Mother Nature: Well I’ll repeat what I said earlier.
“When aiming for a goal, we can only fulfil on our ‘Core Values’”
If the Core value is ‘Defiance in the face of adversity’, then it’s likely they’ll stick to the new diet, no matter what effort it takes.
But other people are going to have to frame this new diet around another of their Core Values, like their children; their desire to return to a loved activity; their interest in travel, etcetera.
Chris: I see. So you can’t ‘Motivate’ yourself to stay on the diet. But you can reframe WHY you are on the diet and have it meet a Core Value of yours.
Mother Nature: Yes, Chris, you’re starting to get it now.
Chris: Thank you!
Okay, let me do a round up of what I’ve learnt in our conversation today.
Motivation is not something you can force. It emerges from aligning a goal with what you ‘Value’ in life.
A good sign that you’re not ‘aligned’ is actually the LACK of motivation you feel. You may even find you develop amnesia around the goal you set for yourself! That’s a sure sign you need a rethink.
The best way to reach a goal that doesn’t really motivate you is to ‘Reframe’ it. Point the task towards benefitting something you DO value.
And finally, remember, “When aiming for a goal, we can only fulfil on our ‘Core Values’, not our Expectations.”
Mother Nature: Nicely summarised, Chris.
Chris: Thank you so much for talking with me today. I’ve learnt a lot about Motivation. I’ve clearly been focusing on the wrong thing.
Maybe soon I can get you back to have a deeper discussion on Core Values. I feel like that’s a conversation that will prove immensely valuable.
Mother Nature: It would be a pleasure.
So I hope you enjoyed the conversation today.
For me, the most important thing to take away is to be more compassionate with yourself around your waning motivations.
Think of it like this. Even the most motivated person you know lacks motivation in some areas of their life. You just know them for what they are particularly motivated for.
So if you’re lacking that motivation, then maybe you’ve just not found the right value to attach to that goal.
Have a think about whether or not the goal that you have set for yourself really matters to you, deep down in your Core Values.
If you’re looking to make more sense of your health and wellbeing then please, check out the links below. You’ll find a free course there that you can sign up for today. Or, if you would like a more personal approach, it would be my pleasure to coach you.
Thanks for listening and remember, great health emerges naturally when you allow Mother Nature to guide you.
