This week we’re bringing together what we’ve learnt over the past few episodes so that you can start to see a path to better wellbeing.
It can be hard to know what’s best to improve your health with so much information out there these days. So we’ve taken Nature’s five rules for vibrant wellbeing and distilled them down even further into just three simple steps for you to consider.
If you follow those three steps, you truly have a recipe that will serve you for life.
So, without taking up any more of your valuable time, let’s see what Mother Nature has to say as we attempt to put her guidance into practice.
Chris: Welcome back to the show Mother Nature.
Mother Nature: It’s great to be here Chris.
Chris: So this week I thought it might be useful to bring together all the guidelines that we’ve discussed because, let’s face it, we’ve covered a lot of ground in these few conversations and it can be hard to hold this all in one’s head.
Mother Nature: That sounds like a great plan. How would you like to go about it?
Chris: Why don’t we start with a real life scenario. You can then help us see how these five rules of yours come together to offer a path back to health.
Mother Nature: Okay. Let’s do it. What’s your scenario?
Chris: Okay, I think we should start right at the beginning with the scenario that kicks the health and wellness journey off for those that are struggling.
Let’s say a person listening just wants to improve their overall health. They’ve had it on their mind for a while that they should do something to help themselves, and now they’re feeling like it’s time for action.
They’re thinking that they want to lose weight and gain some fitness. Where’s a good place for them to start?
Mother Nature: Hmmm. I first want you to remember that I said there were five rules for vibrant wellbeing.
Much of the time people only think of Diet and Exercise when it comes to their health. They want to lose weight and get fit. But wellbeing is more than a number on the bathroom scales, or a step count on your watch.
So my advice for someone looking to manage weight and get fitter is to start by asking a few simple questions.
The first question is, “how well rested are you?”
This question speaks to how much energy you have to embark on making the changes that you have in mind.
If you feel like you have sustained energy, and this is not just a spike of enthusiasm, then you can assume ‘Living Slowly and Sleeping Deeply’ doesn’t need your attention first.
But if you feel exhausted and you’re putting pressure on yourself to add diet and exercise to your to-do list, then I’d actually slow down and sleep first.
Chris: That’s a great point to make. Changing diet and doing exercise costs you physical and mental energy to undertake.
So if you’re lacking energy in the first place, you’ll only lack more by adding these to your routine.
Mother Nature: Exactly. The advice is to be honest about how much energy you have for sustaining the changes you wish to make.
Some people will have plenty. Others not so much.
Chris: Well that makes sense. But how can a person decipher if how much energy they have is enough?
Mother Nature: Honesty is the best policy, I believe is the saying.
Think of one’s energy on a spectrum. Burn out at one end. Lethargy at the other. And a healthy flow of energy in the middle ground.
So at one end of the spectrum we have people burning the candle at both ends by not sleeping enough, and/or never letting their brain or body settle down during the day.
These people are living close to burn out. Exercise and dieting may initially feel like a great redirection of this need to spend all their energy but eventually it will lead them deeper into burn out.
At the other end of the spectrum people have no energy because they are stagnant. They’re not doing much of anything.
Paradoxically, these people can have no energy because they have too much of it.
The body slows down when calories are consumed and no calories are spent and this generates lethargy in the body.
So a change in diet and some gentle exercise can be very beneficial. But these people have to overcome the inertia of lethargy, which can be challenging.
Overall you just have to be honest about where you are on this spectrum.
If you’re unsure and need help figuring that out, then a good health coach can help.
Chris: Okay. So I guess a good follow up question to ask, if energy is a question mark for people, is, “Are you spending too much energy already, or are you not spending enough?”
If you’re feeling on the edge of burn out, then you’re best to focus on living more slowly before you take on a diet or exercise plan.
If you’re feeling lethargic and find it very hard to motivate yourself to do exercise or change your diet, then it’s good to gradually engage in a diet and exercise plan to build momentum that can get you out of that sense of stagnancy.
If you’re somewhere in the middle of that spectrum then you should have energy to pursue changes.
Mother Nature: Yes, that’s correct Chris.
Just respect that the law of Inertia is very hard to overcome. It’s just as hard to slow down as it is to get moving to get yourself into the centre of this spectrum, where energy is abundant.
Chris: So you’re saying that spending a moment right at the start to assess where on the spectrum you are, with complete honesty, is an incredibly important thing to do.
Mother Nature: Absolutely.
Step one is to get yourself into the middle of that spectrum where energy flows effortlessly. Once you do, everything becomes easy from then on.
Chris: Okay. So we’ve stepped back from our initial desire to sign up for that hardcore diet and exercise plan and we’ve asked the first question, “Do we have the energy reserves to make these changes?”
What’s the next question we should ask ourselves?
Mother Nature: Well we’re going to ask an even more important question next.
Chris: Ooh, okay. What’s that?
Mother Nature: Are you being kind to yourself?
Chris: Ah yes, the wellness infinity loop that we spoke about last episode.
Mother Nature: Exactly.
We have to remember that we want to get on to this wellness journey from a place of Kindness, not frustration at ourselves.
Sleep, diet, exercise and socialising from a place of kindness feeds back a positive cycle, which makes it much easier to keep going.
Done from a place of anger or frustration, however, will enter you into a negative feedback loop that it’s hard to get off.
So we MUST ask ourselves honestly, right from the beginning, “Are we being kind to ourselves in the wellness choices we are about to embark upon?”
Chris: Okay, to play devil’s advocate here. Isn’t it always kind to improve your diet and do more exercise?
Mother Nature: No.
We’ve already spoken about the importance of having sustainable energy for the process of wellness. When done without having the energy, diet, exercise and even socialising can drain you further.
That’s not very kind to yourself is it.
It’s often best to stop thinking about the physical outcome you’re after, like fitness or weight change, to instead focus your attention on something that creates fitness or weight change as a byproduct.
Chris: That’s a great point to make.
I often say to my coaching clients that we want the fitness, the weight loss, the energy etcetera to come as a byproduct, rather than the focus of our work.
I’ll usually do this by having them think of what I call the Crazy, Audacious Goal.
Mother Nature: Please, tell me more about that.
Chris: I ask them to think about something that they could work towards that would be a life enhancing experience for them.
It could be anything from hiking to Everest base camp to going to the world’s biggest knitting festival.
They can choose literally anything that would fill their life with joy and offer us an opportunity to work on their health to get them there.
The Everest base camp example has obvious links to health. They’ll clearly need to be fit and strong to get there.
But the world’s biggest knitting festival has just as many opportunities for improving wellbeing (If you know what you’re looking for).
A weekend full of workshops and wandering exhibition stands would be much more enjoyable if you felt vibrant, energetic and had the stamina to be on your feet all day.
Therefore, we can still work on all the same aspects of health – Sleep, diet, exercise and social bonds to get there.
It’s just at the intensity of a knitting festival, rather than Everest base camp.
Mother Nature: Perfect Chris. This is exactly what Nature intended for you all.
Everyone has a different vision of what health and wellbeing means for them.
For some it’s to achieve a perfect physique or an extreme accomplishment. But for most it’s about having a body and mind that can help them get the most out of life.
Like playing with the kids. Enjoying their hobbies. Travelling to interesting places. Or attending a once in a lifetime knitting festival.
Chris: And what we’re saying here is that this is a kind approach. There is no punishment involved in reaching a worthy goal that has wellbeing as a side effect.
You can easily get on the wellness infinity loop that we spoke about last week, from a place of kindness, if you focus on health being a byproduct of the life experiences you value.
Mother Nature: Perfect example Chris.
Chris: Okay, so far we’ve checked that we have the energy for making changes.
We’ve also found a way to see our health from a kinder perspective by entering the journey from the perspective of something we value, rather than to simply ‘lose weight’ or ‘get fit’.
What’s next? Are there any more questions we need to ask ourselves before we get started?
Mother Nature: Yes, just one more. But you’ll need to ask this question daily.
“What is the simplest thing I can do today to meet this crazy, audacious goal of mine?”
Chris: Haha, love it.
Mother Nature: Thank you. I thought you might appreciate that.
What’s important is that you don’t start to over complicate things to meet your crazy goal.
It’s imperative at this point to have simple daily practices that allow you to engage your mind in the process, not the outcome. That way, every day will be a success.
Chris: You’re so right. It can feel overwhelming when we keep our sights only on the goal, can’t it.
We fail to reach that goal every day when we focus only on the distant outcome.
But if we focus only on successfully completing a daily practice, then each day is a winner.
Mother Nature: There you go. Focus on what you can do today and tomorrow will take care of itself.
In nature an acorn doesn’t concern itself about becoming a tree. And a hatchling doesn’t concern itself about learning to fly.
Each day they just follow their own nature and they quickly become what they were supposed to be.
Chris: That reminds me of a quote from Marcus Aurelius, who wrote in his Meditations. He said, “All things gravitate towards what they were meant to be”.
Is that what you mean?
Mother Nature: That is exactly what I mean.
Hold on very lightly to the vision of what you want your health to be. It’s your daily actions that will cause you to gravitate towards that very outcome. Not the desire of the outcome itself.
So when an acorn wants to become a tree, it just sets about growing roots and shoots every day. Nothing else. Eventually that same acorn will be recognisable as a magnificent Oak. A tree that is still just growing roots and shoots every day.
Chris: Love it.
Not only do the practices get you to where you want to go. They are also the same practices that keep you growing when you get there.
Mother Nature: There you go. That’s a universal truth.
Chris: Okay, let me summarise where we’re at, then I might have a couple more devil’s advocate questions for you.
Mother Nature: Be my guest.
Chris: When we want to improve our health and wellbeing, start by asking a few questions first.
Number one: “How much energy reserve do you have for making that change you have in mind?”
Energy comes on a spectrum. Burn out at one end. Lethargy and stagnancy on the other. Sustainable energy is only ever found somewhere in the middle.
It’s important to understand that change takes additional energy because you have to overcome inertia.
If you’re feeling lethargic, then put your energy into gradually getting moving.
It’s like pushing a broken down car down the road. Lots of effort in the beginning to get it moving, then less and less as the car gains momentum.
If you’re already overworked and burnt out then put your energy first into slowing down a little, until you feel sustainable energy returning.
Like controlling the speed of that rolling car, so it doesn’t start getting out of control.
Next is the most important step of all – Making sure you’re entering the wellness journey from a sense of kindness towards yourself. This will ensure the journey is rewarding and easy to stay on.
One way to do this, which I often suggest to clients, is through a Crazy, Audacious Goal.
Set yourself a goal whose only purpose is to give you a life enhancing experience you can tell your own, or someone else’s grandkids about.
Then you can think about what the ideal state of health and wellbeing would be needed to make that life enhancing event even better. One where you’ll have the energy, stamina and vibrancy to really enjoy it.
Finally, keep this crazy goal of yours in mind, but hold it lightly. Focus your attention now on doing something each day that can help you reach that goal with vibrant wellbeing.
Now you’re entering the journey to health with a truly kind mindset. Everything from now on will enable you to gravitate towards the outcome you desire.
Mother Nature: You’ve nailed it again Chris.
Three simple steps – Make sure you have the energy for the change. Set a goal that excites you. And focus on the daily practices that grow your roots and shoots.
Chris: And so we’re clear, those daily practices that grow your roots and shoots are:
Live slowly and sleep deeply. Eat from Nature’s plate. Exercise as if living in nature. And socialise in the physical company of others. Kindness has already taken care of itself.
Mother Nature: Exactly.
Chris: Amazing.
We started this conversation off by asking how people can implement these guidelines.
And the epiphany I’m having is that even the idea that we should figure out how to implement Sleep, Diet, Exercise and Socialising is a completely unnatural approach.
Health and wellbeing Emerge as a byproduct of living your life naturally and intentionally.
What we’ve discovered today is not to get granular about the specifics of diet or exercise. But instead to place our sights on a life enhancing goal.
So implement Nature’s first four guidelines of sleep, diet, exercise and socialising in a way that assists in that goal being achieved with vitality. Nothing more. Nothing less.
And use the kindness feedback loop as a way to ensure that we are on the right path.
Mother Nature: Well done Chris. You’re finally seeing things from nature’s perspective.
Chris: Mother Nature, I thought I was going to find some loopholes by this point that I could exploit as devil’s advocate, but I’m drawing a blank.
Possibly we’ll get some comments from the listeners to that effect, so I’ll be sure to bring this conversation back up with you if we do.
So that just leaves me to say thank you again for this conversation today. I look forward to speaking with you again soon.
Mother Nature: My pleasure Chris. Bye for now.
I hope you enjoyed today’s conversation. I want you to notice that we’re deliberately avoiding telling you HOW or WHEN to sleep, diet, exercise etc.
Wellbeing is actually all about orientation. It’s about visualising something in the future that excites you (your crazy, audacious goal) and using it to guide how your health and wellbeing should emerge, to ensure it’s a vibrant experience.
If the crazy goal requires a great physical effort, then great physical effort needs to be put in to be ready for it.
But if your crazy goal doesn’t require such physicality, then the day-to-day physical practices won’t require such intensity.
For that matter, you could also reverse engineer this if you need motivation to improve a certain aspect of your health.
If you need to find a way to commit to more physical activity, why not find a life enhancing goal that grabs your interest and train for it.
For example, maybe you like to travel. How about booking an adventure on Peru’s Inca Trail for later this year. A three day hilly hike that will take your breath away.
You’ll need to be well rested, light on your feet and physically fit to make the most of a trip like that!
There are more resources to help in your wellness journey on the website at emergentwellbeing.co.uk
Links, as always, are in the description.
I look forward to sharing more of nature’s insights in the next episode, but for now, remember, health and wellness will emerge quite naturally, when you allow Mother Nature to guide you.
